I have always been curious about the regency era of the early 19th century. There was an elegance to it reflected in the attention to fashion and architecture. The opulent displays of social standings and wealth through the lavish lifestyles of the time have often made me intrigued yet skeptical. Sometimes whimsical, often ostentatious – the social rules were binding. Ignore them, or worse – deliberately counteract them – and your entire house, family, dynasty or name was shunned. Your place in society extinguished. The enigmatic way with which society was conducted during this time leaves me wondering what of this old society still remains today. What have we brought forward through the following years that serves and disserves us still?

In a wild part of Africa, Londolozi existed in this era. But society and the rules placed on it by the wilderness at the time were far from those of London.

Fast forward to the era we now find ourselves in. An age of modernity, artificial intelligence, and complexity. The power of society still reigns. 

Yes, it binds us in the modern world through geographic connections, organizations, and a general structure of relationships, behaviours, and communication. Sure, it shapes interaction and supports collaboration. Some would say that it has played a crucial role in inspiring individual and collective identities, beliefs, and behaviours so that we can all make sense of the world. And yes, it has allowed us to arrive at a very interesting and advanced time in history. But it is still a prescriptive set of rules that are very hard to disobey. 

This process of socialization begins in early life and continues throughout our life span. It influences how we see ourselves, and what we perceive our place in the world to be. It dictates what is acceptable – both in how to behave and also in what to believe is important. It creates generalized roles based on arbitrary factors such as age, gender, socioeconomic status, and ethnicity. We are born into a world that has already, even before we have taken our first full breath, told us who we need to be, how we need to behave and think, and what weight we should bear of the world on our shoulders. 

We are lucky, however, that as small children, we have the pleasure of experiencing so many things for the first time in a completely uncomplicated non-verbal way. We rely on body language, gestures, the intonation of a caregiver’s voice, and the sense of touch for the signals that guide us into knowing. So much of this is reflected in the natural world, and in the wilderness.  This deep sense of knowing without anything having to tell us what it is. 

This part of us is called the Wild Self. It is the innate and untamed part of us that represents our very essential nature. It is a pure identity, connected to nature and freedom that often mirrors the beauty and unpredictability of our natural environment. This Wild Self is an authentically expressed part of us that doesn’t need the rules or laws of society. It simply exists. It just is. 

It is only once we grow up that the complex interplay between this Wild Self – our liberated, individual agency –  and the influence of society begins to clash. For some, this clash happens early when the need arises to grow up quickly. For some, it is as a result of trauma as the need for support from society arises in order to cope. For others, it is simply a war of attrition. A slow yet consistent forgetting of oneself as the verbal voice of society gets louder and more forceful and the quiet, non-verbal voice of the Wild Self begins to fade away. There is a panic that sets in as if to say “If you don’t fit in, you’ll simply cease to exist”. 

This panic – this fear – is the reason why society, through the ages, has truly stolen the Wild Self from us. It has stolen it from our consciousness and forced it into hiding because, in many ways, it feels unsafe to show our Wild Self, our essential nature, the one unbridled. 

As I write this, I hear the softest, most sweet, and gentle voice whisper in the back of my mind. “How do people get it back?” This is my own Wild Self talking, one that I have nurtured through the years to make sure that she doesn’t get forgotten. So she doesn’t cease to exist. So that she can continue her work in the world. 

This has only been possible by committing to a continued and sometimes completely unstructured journey of self-discovery, self-expression and personal growth. By committing, every day, to giving my Wild Self a turn – no matter what shame I may feel from society when she runs in, barefoot and muddy from the wilderness, drawing breath after playful exertion. 

Over the years, my connection to my Wild Self has been like an elastic band. At times the elastic has been stretched, almost to the breaking point.  More recently, and especially during the 10 years that I have lived and worked in this vast wilderness of Londolozi, the elasticity of the rebound of my Wild Self is glorious. And strong. 

I believe what Walt Whitman said in his poem, Song of Myself, when he wrote:

Creeds and schools in abeyance,

Retiring back a while sufficed at what they are, but never forgotten,

I harbor for good or bad, I permit to speak at every hazard,

Nature without check with original energy.

I believe that he is celebrating individuality, freedom, and the untamed aspects of human existence. He simply rejects conformity and embraces the wild and authentic self, finding inspiration in nature and the boundless energy of life.

And so it is clear that we have two selves. The social self,  born out of societal norms which has a role to play in this modern world. We need it to function in groups and to maintain our dignity in social situations. But we also have our Wild Self which, for many of us, has been hidden for a long time. And, perhaps you say, never the two shall meet. There simply isn’t space for both to exist. But, you’re wrong. There is a way that your Wild Self can come out to play. Where it can be revealed and uncovered from the depths. Where your Wild self can come out of its secret hiding place, it can step out of the light and be known again. 

This way is the only way we know how to be at Londolozi. 

It is to be in the presence of untamed wilderness. To feel the weight of a massive starry sky hanging over you at the end of a day spent in the wordless presence of animals. 

To be in a place of inner tracking and introspection – experiencing long bouts of silence to quiet the mind and open the heart. To hear the sweet voice of your Wild Self as it begins to speak again. 

This way is ancient. And very simple – leaving behind the complexities of modern technology and all the tricky ways in which it steals our attention. It is the way of the tracker, the naturalist, or the restorative rewilder who relies on the subtle signs and signals of nature and the immediate world around him to provide clues and to write the story of where he is and where he needs to go. 

This way is about sitting alone in the pre-dawn to listen for the call of adventure. It is about being brave enough to take a breath, to pause, to listen to your inner voice and to step out into the unknown in search of what may, if you let it, once again leave you breathless after playful exertion. 

And when you allow this Wild Self to come out from hiding, it can be felt in the ripple effect of your life. Of the way that, just by listening to the quiet voice inside and asking what it wants to do in the world,  you can make a significant change. Perhaps this Wild Self advocacy is the antidote to culture. 

It’s remembering. A whisper. Your confident in the light and the dark. It’s seeped into you… shared. Alone. Full. Loud. And then nothing. It’s not forgotten. Inhale. Exhale. It’s in this moment. And this. And that. This lesson in true love. To go. To find. To dig. To chase untamed and shout, unhushed. To be completely spent amongst streams of fire and replenished in rivers of stars.

Friend, how long has your wild self been hidden? Can you be brave and find it again? It has a significant role to play in the development of the next era of society. We must journey inside ourselves to find it, and then – once found – we must find the others. At Londolozi, you will find some of the others. In this wilderness, with these animals, you will be free to live unhidden.